Friday, July 30, 2010

Missing stone ring

This sijo poem is a work in progress, my first revision, what do you think?

my granddaughter lately asks me
of the missing stone in my ring

as she lovingly caresses
my gnarled and wrinkled fingers

hugging her tightly I whispered
I lost it in your grandma's grave


Joan said...

Beautiful. Such a picture you paint in words.

Little Seed said...

What do I think of your poem in progress? I think it is poignant and beautiful. You are a wonderful story-teller, with the gift of prose.

Vic Gendrano said...

Thank you both Joan and Little Seed for your kind words. Be a seedling Little Seed, soar high and embrace the sunshine - good things are waiting for you on top not below. And warmest welcome to both of you.

This poem is a Korean sijo. When I need more things to say, I use this form as it gives me more leeway, I can express more emotions unlike the minimalist form haiku. Don't get me wrong though, haiku might be short but very hard to write. Now, now ladies see what happens when you needle me - I better stop now...